By a stroke of fate, a stone gains sentience and sets out on a grand quest to touch grass. 

However, the system forgot to change its stats from their [Metric] values to the appropriate [Str, Int, Dex] values.

Things escalate. Fast. 

Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of Quantum Teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!